Cops and Robbers
After bungling his suicide attempt, a bankrupt man accidentally embarks on a career of crime. In search of condoms, he becomes involved in a bank robbery.
John is having trouble with his ex-wife. He's also bankrupt. And he can't find buyers for his warehouse full of parrots. Because of all these troubles, he decides to blow his brains out. But his suicide attempt is interrupted by a cute young cop. She wants to arrest him for assault.
John takes her prisoner, ties her to a chair, and then sets out on a shopping trip in her police car. He interrupts a bank robbery, watched by a naive nurse called Rita, who mistakes him for a plain clothes policeman. She demands that he pursue the robbers - taking her along for the ride. He decides to play hero by joining the chase, and when the robbers' car runs out of gas, there's a shoot-out. John becomes an accidental hero, which leads to passion with Rita, helped by their discovery of a fortune in cash which the robbers were carrying.
Back at John's place, the policewoman is trying to arrest a drunken robber - who turns out to be Kevin, the man who claims to have been assaulted by John. The two discover a mutual attraction till John and Rita return - whereupon Kevin overpowers them both.
By the time John's ex-wife arrives, John, Rita and the cop are all tied up, and there's a fortune on the floor. So just who gets murdered, who gets married, and who gets the money?